Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week’s Cocktail, Prizefighter No. 1!


An acquired but worthwhile taste.

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. I’ve made a few crowd pleasers for you this month, because we are definitely in self-care mode here. But sometimes, your bartender needs some self-care too. I found myself with the urge to make a hardcore bartender’s cocktail this week; something made just for me, with a flavor profile that gets my creative juices moving again. I found that cocktail. Few of you will actually like it. But we’re making it anyway. This is my twist on a Prizefighter No. 1. Here’s the recipe:

1 oz Fernet Branca

1 oz Carpano Antico Sweet Vermouth

¾ oz simple syrup

1 lemon, cut into quarters

6 mint leaves

Absinthe

Pinch of salt

In a tumbler, muddle three lemon wedges, simple syrup, and mint leaves. Squeeze the remaining lemon wedge over the tumbler. Add all other ingredients except for the absinthe. Shake with ice until the exterior of the tumbler is cold. Spray a mist of absinthe over a double old fashioned glass, or add a few drops to the glass and shake them out. Double strain the cocktail into the glass with crushed ice. Garnish with a mint sprig. 

This is a menthol-laden, bitter drink, with a lemon punch but not much acid to speak of. It reminds me of the old Fisherman’s Friend cough drops, but rounded and jammy instead of chalky and dry. It’s certainly not a drink to go with your dinner. But it makes me smile when I taste it. So what’s good about this glass?

The Fernet Branca is a huge tipoff. Branca is well known as the “Bartender’s Handshake,” the glass you offer to other hardcore mixologists to let them know you’re part of the club. When I see a Branca cocktail on the menu, I know the guy writing it is willing to take on challenging, complex flavors and make them into something new. Nicholas Jarrett, the author of this drink, is definitely part of that tribe. He’s bounced around bars in New York, Philadelphia, and New Orleans, and concocted a different Prizefighter for each one. I checked out Prizefighters #2-7; none of them share any ingredients in common. They’re all complex, barely sweet, and impenetrable to the casual drinker. I want to try them all. 

In a way, a drink like this reminds me of wildcards like the infamous Industry Sour, a drink composed by Ted Kilgore in 2011. According to legend, he was serving another bartender one evening and thought, “What if I just put everything that I liked into a glass and gave it to them?” That line of thinking rarely leads to good places, but this mix of Fernet Branca, green chartreuse, sugar, and lime worked. Making Fernet Branca come into its own, despite itself, is the mark of an absolute artist behind the bar. It takes courage to put a drink like that on the menu. You have to respect anyone bold enough to try. 

(For the record, my favorite Branca cocktail in Cleveland is served in a quiet little bar in the back corner of the Cleveland Museum of Art. It’s called “Death, The Knight, and The Devil,” inspired by Dürer’s engraving, and it features Branca, Malört, and a few other odds and ends. It absolutely should not work, but every sip dances on the lip of the abyss before pirouetting away. I need to go back and have one.)

Let’s talk ingredients:

Ingredient shot. Ain’t that a rogue’s gallery of bottles.

Fernet Branca: This Italian aperitif is roughly in the same category as Campari, Cynar, or Aperol. Fernets and amaros aren’t quite the same, but the differences are minor and technical. All of these liquors are dense, bitter, and complex. Getting them right is a delightful challenge. Fernet’s easily the most notorious one of the bunch, but Campari will always have a place in Negronis and Jungle Birds on the menu. 

Carpano Antico Vermouth: Sweet, round, jammy vermouth is often the partner of in-your-face amaros. A Negroni is a perfect example of how these ingredients balance each other. Vermouth can give a feisty amaro like Fernet Branca enough space and body to express its flavors without destroying your palate. 

Simple syrup: Despite the strange ingredients, this drink is still fundamentally a sour. Sugar and acid are the backbone of countless cocktails, right up to the humble daiquiri. 

Lemon: This looks like a very weird way to get lemon juice into the drink, but we’re aiming to get lemon oil as well as juice into the glass. Muddling most of the lemon with the mint will provide lemon flavor without too much acid. 

Mint leaves: Don’t over-muddle the drink and turn the leaves into mush. We want to break the leaves and extract some mint oil without getting bits into the glass. 

Absinthe: My own twist on Mr. Jarrett’s work. The absinthe makes the drink a little sweeter and less dense, and plays into the “Fisherman’s Friend” flavors. 

Salt: You don’t want to add enough to make the drink salty, but a small pinch keeps the sweetness in balance. 

In summary and conclusion, drink well, drink often, and tip your bartender — donate to Wonkette at the link below!  

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You can find me on Bluesky at @samuraigrog!

DRINK!

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