Wonkette’s News of Today just finished its first week of school! Pencils ready!


We started, as always, with our morning news roundup! Which tab did you like best?

Which do you think is more important, the bacon or the wind? Please support your answer with three examples drawn from the text.

United flight attendants voted by Putin numbers to authorize a strike. How much should Trump outlaw it?

Candace Owens says the social engineering is making the men gay and the women hate them. Please map the social engineering with a Venn diagram.

Please explain the difference between Democrats and Republicans and how much the first party should be in jail.

Now for health. How could JD Vance safely explore without hurting himself or others?

Science: Whatever this is.

Geography: Should we still be making fun of Miss Teen USA now that we know our mocking her made her think about taking her own life?

Answer:

BERMAN: Last night you posted a clip from Ms Teen US 2007 — Caitlin Upton. When you posted that, were you aware she thought about committing suicide for the attention that received?J

D VANCE: No, certainly not.

BERMAN: Would you like to apologize?

VANCE: I’m not going to apologize.

Geography again: Sen. Jacky Rosen is currently leading her Republican opponenent in Nevada by something like 15 points. How do you pronounce Nevada, and how many times will Gary Cole from Veep have to correct you?

Multiple choice: How many Old Fashioneds will you now drink?

Congratulations, YOU PASSED!

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